Showing Up Due to Hugh Jackman

A friend of ours has her own blog and since she's seen my journalistic talent and amazing penchant for the truth she has now linked to me. The photo above is what shows up on her site. I figured with Hugh's kinda-ok body it would be a big draw for those associating this 'James' to that hunky stud.

So... for those new readers who merely clicked on the link because of hunky photo, I'm sorry to say but that's not me. I'm MUCH better looking as noted in my "Girls Night Out" post.

My blog exists because of my wife's inability to share the complete truth on her blog. It is an exhausting process but I look to all my faithful readers (4 now! Thanks Christa) to help me get through it.

Too Humorous to Pass Up

Those who have been reading this blog know that I run a pretty thin line reporting the truth. This video was sent to me by my mom. Not sure if she is hinting about something but I figured I would put this up so that others could enjoy the sad truth of this video.

Thankfully since I'm a rockstar husband I'll never be there... right honey?


http://adage.com/brightcove/single.php?bcpid=1370868150&bctid=3130509001

Girls Night Out

Why is it that us men take so much abuse from our wives? We give them the world and what do they do but go out and oogle Hugh Jackman's shirtless body in some movie!


Come on! What's so hunky about this?!?!



I mean really... Doesn't he look all sweaty and very likely stinky in this photo?

And the worst offensive photo I've seen on the web. Please, don't go further if you have a queasy stomach...because this one just is HORRIBLE!

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.I warned you this photo should not be on such a clean blog as 2nd Street Response
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!!!!!!!!![Shrieking horror movie music playing in background]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




If we do a side by side comparison he doesn't look THAT much better

[Disclaimer: Admitting slight airbrushing]

Why Hugh, when she has this hunky stud muffin at home? I ask my faithful readers why? Why?

Husbands, I know you're out there

I'm not home every night but now with school done for the semester I'm able to be home more often. You think that would be something my entire family would be happy with.

Well... Aidan is happy because he knows I'm always up for a good wrestling session. His excitement is palpable.

Naphtali? Not so much. Not even a palpitation when I step through the door.

There's the understandable, "You should be home more often." Well tonight I'm home and what happens? She's in the kitchen cooking something (as always) and I come in to say hi along with a few pullups in the kitchen (the guy photos need to be updated and I don't have those handy elbow straps).



I'm a demonstrative guy and typically take the opportunity to cozy up while her hands are full of batter. Tonight did I do that? No, I was merely standing in the middle of the kitchen resting from my last set of pull ups when Naphtali said, "Don't!"

Sure I was standing behind her and perhaps she thought I might go for some passionate embrace or something but that's not at all what I had in mind (at THAT precise moment. I was actually looking at a cookie at THAT precise moment).

So I don't win when I'm away and I don't win I'm home. I know there must be husbands who experience the same challenges. I'm starting a support group called H.U.R.T. (Husbands Under Ridiculous T) Its late and I know I'll find a 'T' word that fits later.

Now, I'm off to bed wondering how I can be the best possible husband.

Veritas. The truth must be told!

Still no update from Naphtali's blog so I feel my duty is to inform the world (again framing 'world' as 3 blog readers) of the truth! You'll need to have read my previous truth post and Naphtali's (not so true) blog post.

It all comes down to this. Please note the three highlighted areas as these will be discussed throughout this kangaroo court.


Evidence #1: Leaning Lamp




What Martha Stewart-esque woman would allow such a travesty? I give you.... Naphtali


Evidence #2: Blanket Badness


I noticed this crumpled blanket and straightened if after my poker party. Here I thought I was cleaning up the living room. I was informed that the defendant had it that way on purpose. I give you... Naphtali


Evidence #3: Bowl of Balls



First of all, who would EVER decorate by filling a bowl full of balls?!?! I mean if they were golf balls and that was some sod from Augusta I could understand but really? AND, who would put it under a chair? I give you... Naphtali


So as you have seen there is sufficient evidence to show that the living room was indeed cleaner AFTER the poker party. I rest my case.

Blog response! Blog response!

I don't have the time to go in-depth at the moment. (Trust me I will!)

Naphtali's latest post (Christmas Baking) needs to be slightly corrected...

Do you see the picture of Aidan and me making the cookies? Take notice of the little silver spritzer machine I was using. Naphtali must have had a mini-stroke because she missed the reason we went downstairs.

Why Naphtali? I'll let you post a full blog response in apology for making us look lazy when actually we were working on our fine motor skills.

Here why: The dough coming out of the spritzer was too soft so Naphtali suggested we put it in the fridge to let it cool off. Since Aidan and I are so productive we didn't want to just stand in the kitchen twidling our thumbs. Instead Aidan and I became Batman and Robin legos. Yes legos on the Wii.

So... those 3 faithful readers of my blog (Naphtali being one) should be seeing a followup response from Naphtali to her slanderous blog post now that her husband has reminded her of how the night transpired.

Those new to my blog (which, be honored, that would make you the 4th) must know that the only reason this blog exists is to correct stories that didn't quite get told the way they should.

One of these photos is not like the other

Examine them closely. A test will follow. Which is James' cleaning and which is Naphtali's?

I'm posting this as Naphtali is busy re-cleaning our living room. I had a group of guys over to play poker last night while she was out at a Christmas concert. I didn't tell her that we would be playing the Wii in the living room using a white sheet over the window. That involved just a slight bit of rearranging.

Knowing my wife's cleaning habits [See clinical definition of her condition ;)] I figured I should take a photo before us guys set to moving things. I'm certainly glad I did as you can see from the photos above.

So... I ask you, my two faithful blog readers, which do you think is my cleaning versus hers.

Here we needed to use this furniture for the projector. All that 'stuff' on top had to be returned to its original position.






















































The picture where the window is dark is hers.

Life is a Balance Act

Abstract(This line added after completing blog and advance apologies to anyone who tries to read the whole thing): The pretzels and chocolate are tasty. James did good.



Naphtali should play poker. She's forced a move on my part with her latest blog entry.

Yes, I got a little domestic with my desire to create these white chocolate pretzel delights. How? Because lately I've been spending hour after hour at our local Caribou Coffee shop. They have these $0.85 jumbo pretzels with white chocolate for sale (which I've never purchased). For those who know me they'll know that I HATE to waste money. I'm not a huge coffee fan and would love to purchase a foofoo drink but unfortunately those $4.50 drinks add up. So... what am I 'forced' to buy but a small 'coffee of the day'. $1.71 is still expensive but I work hard to guess their trivia for an extra $0.10 off! Hour after hour and refill after refill all while enjoying a phenomenal wi-fi connection. Thanks Caribou!!!!!!


I was thinking of the amount of time I spend in these coffee shops. (In a Caribou right now writing this blog! This time I'm on the west side of town after getting some excellent feedback from one of Minnesota's most successful entrepreneurs)

Ahhh... blogs are so liberating! I've just rambled on about caribou when the original intent was to respond to the whole white chocolate binge purchase.

So, departing Caribou and likely approaching lethal blood/caffeine levels, I needed to pick up some milk and decided PRIOR to entering Target that I would purchase the pretzels and chocolate necessary to make the culinary delights!

(I like the word culinary) I'm wondering if it has origins with the word Cull
:to reduce or control the size of (as a herd) by removal (as by hunting) of especially weaker animals ; also : to hunt or kill (animals) as a means of population control

Think of that as you are munching on your Cullinary Thanksgiving meal.

Which brings me to the complicated word MANKIND. Perhaps it could be easily understood if we broke the word down. MANK and IND , nope, still too complicated to understand and thus why we are a complicated species.

So I came home with the chocolate bits and pretzels. Did my lovely wife's jaw (I had draw here for a while) drop when she saw my artistic cooking juices flowing? No. Instead she questioned what was wrong with me.

You think after 7 years of marriage she would realize that 'wrong' is relative when it comes to me (as I look back on this entire blog post and question my messed up train of thought)


This photo brought to you by: bentobjects.blogspot.com


And if anyone actually read my blog then this would likely be sponsored by some ADHD drug.

Arghh! Blogging can be cumbersome

So as not to look like a complete jerk I should also seriously* say here is my lovely family. For all the grief we give each other I think the journey has been a fun one.


*For those who even read this blog retort (i.e. my mom, a taxi cab driver I met in Shanghai, Ben Bernanke and sometimes my wife) you'll know I can't be too sentimental so the REAL truth of this post is to sneak yet another photo of my cool looking pumpkin ;) Peeeerrrfection!

OK that last post was really to emphasize my artistry

I like the Nintendo Wii. It is a unique platform and I look forward to what Nintendo will do in the future. This pumpkin is a hats off to the innovators over at Nintendo. Way to go "Blue Ocean"

My lovely family

Being Called Dad

I have to say that when Aidan took to calling me "James" I had a hard time with it. There is no one else in this world that can call me that and I guess I kinda like him calling me "dad"

It doesn't help things when a particular mom (names not released to protect the guilty) snickers each time he calls me "James!"

Thankfully the phase has passed (for now) and I was even offered some kisses without solicitation!

Jamesie is also a guilty mom's generated name for me. Do I as a loving husband respond with retaliation? No.

I love you honey... :)

As a child my favorite letters were I, P and O

Yes, this is Naphtali's hunky husband when he was a wee little child. Mind you that is only a regular sized coffee cup.

We have an upcoming "Guess who this baby is" contest at work. I'm going to have some fun with it and a buddy was nice enough to create this photo for me. Thanks Andy!

This header is for all those business folks out there. Guy Kawasaki created fun kids T-shirts using the idea. Please please please encouraging people to think entrepreneurially at an early age. Seems like the older I get the more boundaries I put around my ideas. I like to think its a little wisdom mixed with my childlike imagination.

I'm looking forward to the day when the IPO door opens up again. Until then I guess my other two favorite letters are M & A!

I second that motion!

What an eye!

So I'm not known to have an amazing eye for color or a deep appreciation for foods. But why? That's why I married this wonderful woman. Ok, schmoozing over...

Now the real story. I'm a phenomenal artist who just doesn't have the time to exercise my hidden skill. Credit I don't often receive (i before e unless after c) [In the mind of James: I think that everytime!]

Where was I? Oh, I don't get credit for the artsy things I create. My office? Naphtali called a mess in a previous blog? I call it well coordinated chaos. Take a second and admire the time and thought I put into creating such a wonderful work .

Naphtali posted an adorable picture of Aidan but did she give credit to the producer? NO! So I am placing ownership for that.

See, here I am directing my 4 year old son to stand over by that colorful stuff. Sure there may be some poison ivy or other bad weed but a rash is short lived. A good photo will be forever...




What is this?!?! A mini-workers strike? Focus Aidan focus!

Fall line of James Apparel

[I'd like to say that Naphtali has been wary of my newfound blogging response power and has been rather nice in her last few posts but my absence of posts have been due to getting back into school.]

She mentioned my stunningly good looking outfit that has had everyone in Estes Park raving for the last 6 years. The fans were so wild about getting their hands on it that I had to hire a cute little body guard.


Well this year I decided to add the snazzy new gloves to really round out the look. So stunning that Naphtali realizes the "wow! what a trendy look" I often receive while walking in public. So much so that I think she questions her own outfit because she won't walk next to me.

Don't worry honey... I'll get to work on my ladies line for next year.

Can you figure out this card trick?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voAntzB7EwE

What will people say about you

My previous entry talked about having a fun funeral. I've always thought it would be great to have a cool obituary.

Apparently Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple was given that opportunity when Bloomberg accidentally released his obituary today.

Telegraph.co.uk

On Jobs's ambition:

When Jobs was in the 10th grade at Homestead High School in Cupertino, he assured his then girlfriend Chris-Ann Brennan he was going to become a millionaire, according to the "Second Coming of Jobs" by Alan Deutschman.

"Steve had these dreams of becoming one of the great people that has companies and makes products that change the world," Steve Wozniak [with whom Jobs founded Apple] said in August 2008. "One of the few people like the Shakespeare's and Einstein's that get well known - he wanted to be in that group."

On Jobs's sometimes fiery temper:

In his quest to create what he called "insanely great" products, Jobs earned a reputation for being mercurial, sometimes screaming at his employees, according to biographer Deutschman.

"It's painful when you have some people who are not the best people in the world," Jobs said in a 1995 oral history interview with the Smithsonian Institution. "My job has sometimes exactly been that - to get rid of some people who didn't measure up."


What would your premature obituary say about you right now?

Learning is fun

"A person doesn't become old until he exchanges his dreams for regrets" -someone


I'm a bit of a geek when it comes to learning. I'd love to spend all my time sitting at the feet of experts in all sorts of disciplines. When we are driving in the car I like to listen to audiobooks like "The Biography of E=MC2" . I love music but will spend my commute time listening to MPR or talk radio so that I'm learning something.


Naphtali thinks I should become a professor because my eyes light up when I step foot onto a university. Unfortunately I can't say I feel like an expert in any area other than being an expert in being fascinated Hmmm... perhaps a Masters and PHD in Fascination?

One fascination I've always gotten a quizzical look from is beekeeping. Bees are fascinating! Communities and communications went unknown by humans until some researcher actually devoted time to learn more about bees. I bet the first research article sure got people buzzing ;) [Naphtali you have to admit that one was funny]

I don't know what it is but bees just astound me. Their benefits to crops and this world are taken for granted. These small little guys need to hear a few cheers from us humans for everything they do. Hip Hip Hor....ok nevermind...

I've never been a beekeeper but hope to acquire enough knowledge to someday start my own hive. Oh, I suppose I should also state the need of approval from my wife and son. Aidan has this uncanny ability of being stung by bees and might not like having a whole colony in his backyard. Perhaps it is his sweet personality. (inherited from his father of course)


Aidan and I have volunteered time helping the local beekeepers group clean hives. While working I'm asking all sorts of questions. One guy was definitely a bee connoisseur. I couldn't believe the questions he was able to answer. How far can a bee fly? How high can a bee fly? How much honey could a bee honey honey if a bee honey could honey honey?


Naphtali knows that I love to encourage people to set goals and pursue them. Seeing people give up on their dreams big and small is always tough on me. Remember when you were a kid and you used to dream of becoming an astronaut, firefighter, scientist, or a beekeeper? Don't pause to deny it. Just go with the flow and accept beekeeping was at ONE point a dream you had.

Why do we give up on our dreams? Pursue your dreams and have a kick butt funeral when you die. Learn as much as you can and do as many things as you can.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, honeycomb in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!"


If you haven't seen the movie Big Fish please watch it. I cried like a baby at the end. [Yes, even aspiring beekeepers cry too!] The funeral at the end would make even the hardest of you fellow beekeepers cry.


Funny enough This link (must watch!) is what prompted my thoughts about learning and this post. I find that often a person gives up on learning something a little more complex like math or physics because it wasn't explained in a way that they could easily understand. The video takes a topic like understanding the fourth dimension and steps people through in a simple fashion. Their method is really cool.

Check it out and while you're learning check this site out too. Better Explained

Once you are done with both of those sites give me a call and we can chat. Just don't ask me about crying or I'll tell you to mind your own beeswax. [OK, Naphtali, I know you didn't laugh at the first one but what about now?]

P.S. I need to 'learn' how to tell a joke according to Naphtali.

Why did I volunteer for this?

A 'friend' asked me in February if I'd be interested in doing a relay race from LaCrosse, WI to Minneapolis, MN (198 miles). I don't consider myself a runner but I do like challenges and this sounded as good as any.







Ragnar Relay is an annual 12 person relay race. This year saw 180 teams enter. We started Friday afternoon and finished Saturday afternoon. Yes, running continually through the night. Two vans (6 people each).

People estimate how long it will take their team to complete the race with start times from 8:00AM to 2:00PM. The idea is that everyone finishes the race around the same time. We had an overzealous team captain who started us at 11:00AM.

We stayed close to our runner the entire time. We would drive ahead a few miles and offer water and a motivational cheer. As darkness started to settle in our runners had to put on reflective vests.










I was in Van 2 and the last runner (#12) to run. Unfortunately during our leapfrogging* we ran the car battery so low it wouldn't start again. Our runner was getting close to the next transition so I had to hitch a ride with another team's van. Meghan had been standing at the transition for 10 minutes so I had to make up some time. My first leg was 7.9 miles starting around 10:30PM. Completely dark and running on the side of the road with headlamps and reflective clothing didn't make me feel extraordinarily safe on a Friday night. I had no support vehicle so was dying for water. I'm sooooo thankful that at mile 5 Meghan was able to borrow someone's brand new lexus SUV to bring me some water. That guy is uber generous considering she was still sweaty from her run.

*(Speaking of Leapfrogging)
Runner #10 had run in a complete downpour. By the time it was my turn to run there were hundreds of frogs on the road. The headlamp didn't provide much light so I was stepping on frogs occasionally. Apparently a runner from another team stepping INTO a dead raccoon. I'll take the frogs any day!

Here I've just finished my race and am handing off our sweaty reflective vest to Van 1. The vest had been worn by three sweaty runners and would be worn by 3 more that night!

30 minutes after finishing 7.9 grueling miles we were all gorging on spaghetti in Red Wing at Katie's parents house. We all showered (except for Matt who liked to feel 'rugged') and grabbed about 3 hours of sleep before we had to meet up with Van 1 again.

My next run was only 3 miles and went over the bridge into Stillwater. I had to run it at a good pace for fear of having to wait for the lift bridge to come down. We again handed off to Van 1 and proceeded to eat at a small diner in Stillwater.

My final leg was the one that would bring our team across the finish line. It was 5.8 beautiful miles along the Mississippi. I went right next to my office at the UofM and was encouraged because I could visualize how far I had left to the finish line. Crossed the Stone Arch Bridge where everyone and their mothers seemed to be taking wedding photos. I was in a race so I couldn't wait for them to take their shot. Hopefully I'll be in someone's photo album as "That Guy"

Got lost 1 mile from the finish line. Thankfully someone redirected me after wasting 0.5 miles. I was so close I could see the finish line and what happens? A train decides its time to go through! Arghhh! I just wanted to be done! Finally, with my body crying to be done, I made it to the finish line where the team was waiting.



15 minutes later we were all eating pizza. In case you didn't notice there was a theme of eating immediately after each run. Not fun.

Here is the entire team. What a race! I don't know if I'll ever do it again but am definitely glad I was able to meet some great people and develop a lasting memory.

Yeti again? Someone's Achille's Heel?

Some of you may have remembered Naphtali's "Rare Sighting in Southern Minnesota" post.


Well I'm sorry to say that it was no hoax. The Yeti has appeared yet(i) again! This time the savvy blog reader will recognize this as one of our OWN windows (some noticed the other pictures were of me cleaning my parent's windows [admittedly not a common occurrence])





I'm thinking that there is actually an achilles heel to our cleanly Martha Stewart. I've been married to Naphtali for over 7 years and there aren't many opportunities for my unclean threshold to trigger. She has this uncanny ability to clean weeks (she would say years) before I'd even notice something was dirty. So I have to say there is ONE area of housecleaning that I excel at. Perhaps years of coke bottle glasses with chronic cleaning during sports has left me with my obsession.

According to a myth arising later, his mother, Thetis, had dipped the infant Achilles in the river Styx, holding onto him by his heel, and he became invulnerable where the waters touched him -- that is, everywhere but the areas covered by her thumb and forefinger -- implying that only a heel wound could have been his downfall. Another version of Achilles becoming close to immortal involves Thetis' attempt to make him a god. She would rub his whole body with ambrosia and then hold him over a fire every night. She held him by his heel, which is why that part of his body was vulnerable. One day, Achilles' father, Peleus, came in the home and caught Thetis holding Achilles over the fire. Peleus did not know that Thetis was trying to immortalize Achilles. Thetis was scared and fled out of fear. This possibly coincides with the story that Thetis left Achilles at a very young age.

The use of “Achilles’ heel” as an expression used for “area of weakness, vulnerable spot” dates only to 1855 (Merriam-Webster). It derived from the Greek "Achilleios pterna" (Greek: Αχίλλειος πτέρνα) literally meaning Achilles’ heel.

The Achilles' heel as a singular weakness has become a cliché in superhero comics, originating mainly from Superman's weakness against kryptonite [wikipedia]

I love the olympics...

Bruschetta Bruschetta Everywhere!

Remember Naphtali's love for bruschetta over the summer? Well Aidan and I certainly do! ;)

Hey! Out of the way!

This boy would not get out of the line of fire. I was doing some serious photographic work (to get a shot of Naphtali's new glasses) and get all of these photos. He was so fast I didn't even know he was there ;) Sorry honey! [Note Naphtali is behind him as you can see in the last picture]