Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Beauty of Ugliness

As I continue to reflect on my future as an unemployed person I've come to realize the cathartic experience I get from blogging. Yes, I know 2nd Street Response serves absolutely no purpose other than to further clutter the already chaotic infrastructure we've come to know as the internet (thank you Al Gore), fortunately my blog and I don't struggle with existentialism. Instead we embrace the utter waste of time that is sunk into providing endless nothingness.

My readers (can we increase our readership to double digits by 2010?!?! YES WE CAN!) (Ok, no we can't but that's not important right now) are the ones who should be concerned. Seriously, have you given thought to the lack of productivity you are expressing while reading this? You should be ashamed of yourself!

What IS important is that I'm going to try and provide my readers with something that is edifying. Granted my song in the last blog post still has me emotionally on edge. Such a compelling piece...

If you remember back I mentioned how Naphtali doesn't take the information I suggest for her blog. Something about it being her blog and I should go and create my own... blah blah blah...

So here are a few more 'recommendations' on food stuff from a guy who only eats cereal when at home alone. [Comments welcome. i.e. ones that say, "Naphtali, how could you not have taken these tips from James? I'm going to start keeping James' blog as my primary resource for all things important and when he refers to you I MIGHT check out what you have to say" Yeah, something along those lines should do]

Read this entry on the latest killer online recipe site.

You say you only have Tuna and Oatmeal in your cupboard? Well I could tell you that they go together extraordinarily well. If you are like most flat earth people you probably think that is disgusting. For the enlightened I offer up this website as a way to figure out what to make based on what's on your shelves.

Why do 2 week old leftovers have to start stinking in the refrigerator? (And why doesn't Naphtali ever allow stuff to stay in the fridge until I think it should be thrown out?) Use this trick to freshen up your fridge.

Don't you just hate it when you start on your latest culinary treat only to discover you're missing an ingredient? Arghh, happens to me ALL the time! Well use this handy dandy guide for quick baking substitutes.

I really have no idea if these are worth anything. But do I really care? Nope.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The End... of the end of that ending thing

Naphtali has done a good job of letting the world know that I'm losing (lost) my job. Our primary benefactor lost tons of money to Bernie Madoff who needs to take a trip to Singapore for a little caning of his tushy. Oh well. Like all non-profits we all were in a hurt box.

Well... today was my last day. Yes, I am a packrat who likes to keep things as memories. (Now humming "Memories") My beloved co-worker made the comment as I was leaving that she had been working for 25 years and in 2 years I had accumulated more 'stuff' than she had. To that I responded with the appropriate, "Slacker!"

[Short aside- I'm now listening to my favorite Jean Valjean: Colm Wilkinson. If I have a man crush on Hugh Jackman I have a voice crush on Colm. Too bad he doesn't sing the song that makes me tear up every time. "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables"]

[Short aside over... almost] I see a strong correlation between what my co-workers will likely be singing tomorrow. Instead it will be "Empty Office without James" Same passion and sorrow of course.

Listen to the link and then follow along with my awe enspiring lyrics. Andrew Lloyd Webber should be quaking in his boots.

"Empty Office Without James"
Written, Directed, Choreographed, Published, etc by: James

There's a grief that can't be spoken. There's a pain goes on and on. Empty office without James. Now my co-worker is laid off and gone. Here he talked of Entrepreneurship. Here it was he lit the flame (of entrepreneurship in other students). Here he sang about tomorrow...and how our generation can lead the way.

From the corner office on the top floor he could see a world reborn. And he rose with the telephone ringing. And we can hear him now, the very words that he had said. became our last true blessing. in the lonely office space.... without him....

Oh my friends my friends forgive me, that I talk all the time about James. There's a grief that can't be spoken. There's a pain goes on and on. James' picture he placed on the door. A 'James' floormat on the floor. Empty office without James. Now my sorrows will cease no more. Oh my friends my friends. Don't ask me, how I can live without him here. Empty office without James. Now James will be here........ no more...........

[Aside now over. I present you with electronic tissues to wipe away the tears from such a beautiful song]

To top the day off I was invited to play some basketball with a few undergrads. Them young wippersnappers! Go figure, threw my back out. Getting old... I need to write a "Dear Hugh" letter and see how he would cope with this situation. Naphtali saw me hobbling around and though it was due to all the boxes I brought home. They are now neatly placed next to the boxes I packed up when leaving Medtronic 2 years ago. Hopefully not to suffer the same fate of neglect.

So during this unemployment period I'll try to catch up on the blogging. I was starting to get hate mail coming in from people who had their significant other pass out while holding their breath waiting for my next post.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

!!!!!!! Happy Mother's Day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went out this morning to bring some breakfast home for my beauty. Stopped into Caribou and thought I should get one of their Canteens of coffee and a few scones. I ordered the canteen and was looking at the scones. When I came back I happened to ask just how many cups of coffee the canteen held. 10! Unfortunately he had already started filling the box so we are going to be jazzed up all day on caffeine. For those who know me I can't just waste anything and I WILL make sure to drink all $15 worth of coffee.

So to ALL my loyal readers who struggle to survive between my posts I tell you to wish your mother a happy day and let her know how much you care about her.

I dearly love the two ladies in my life.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Stepping it up to the next level

Thus far my blog has been dedicated to responding to Naphtali's somewhat slanted stories. I've also taken the time to talk about my main man Hugh Jackman....

Well today I've decided I'm going to start venturing into Naphtali's expertise and see if I too can't provide something meaningful (please spare me the comments on the lack of meaning or sense to my blog)

I'm such a loving husband that often I'll find a great article or tidbit that I think Naphtali's readers would thoroughly enjoy. I know I've sent at least a dozen great articles that I know you dedicated readers would enjoy. Of those articles how many have shown up on her blog?!?! ZERO. (I'm currently being treated for a salt deficiency due to my crying myself to bed every night)

So, here is the first of many that will be sure to have you on the edge of your computer seat waiting to see what will come next.

How to Grow Herb Gardens Indoors

Make Heart Shaped Cupcakes without a Special Pan (Yes, this was one sent to Naphtali when I was thinking warm gushy thoughts leading up to Valentines)

Use Butter to Keep Cheese Soft and Unspoiled

And because I know that there HAS to be a husband out there who needs the support of a blog like mine. Some I bet you didn't know facts

I know there were specific posts from Naphtali that I should be responding to but I'm tired and am going to bed. Naphtali is currently in the other room sewing so I'll be crawling into a cold lonely bed tonight (Reminds me that I have to take that medication for my tear ducts)

Hang in there faithful readers. I will be getting more blog responses out shortly.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Us guys just don't notice until...

There are massive blessings of being a man. One of which is the ability to go #1 while standing up. I also don't envy women when I see them standing in lines at a sporting event. I just am very thankful for being a man. My ultimate goal in life is to have a house where I can pee in the front yard (without fear of the cops coming). I grew up in the country and there was nothing better as a boy than playing all day and relieving myself wherever was convenient. Even as an avid (albeit bad) golfer, there are now products that again help a man out.

So, when I do actually have to sit down on a toilet I start to see the world in a different light. Its actually quite enjoyable to sit down and knock a few more chapters out of a book. But, after finishing 40 minutes later what do I often find?!?! The roll of toilet paper is on backward!

Here's a simple lesson we can all use from TP management 101.

Let's start a grassroots movement, no, not to use only one or two squares like Sheryl Crow does but instead to inform the world that this malady of society MUST be stopped. Together I say "Yes We Can" (Get it? "Can" and Naphtali doesn't think I am funny...)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

When the mother is away the boys will play

Naphtali went out with the girls tonight so it was just the boys running the house. On her way out the door she said there was a cake upstairs that we could put some frosting on. It smelled so good that Aidan and I had to have just a small teeny tiny portion out of the corner. Our diabolical plan was to pad the tiny corner with extra frosting. No one would ever know!

Well... I guess I'll let the results speak for themselves. Honey, just remember that the cake is still just as good as if it were whole......

We tried to put frosting in the (tiny) hole but the cake didn't hold up. We really tried!

Fearing for my well being if she walked up to the kitchen to see the cake without this detailed explaination we decided it was best to cushion the blow.

This note will be in the door for when she comes home.

P.S. The cake is absolutely delicious and is in Aidan's room since we couldn't leave it in the kitchen before you saw how much we loved you.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

She knows how to get me to post

Ok, HAVE to respond to the latest post. We need a definite story correction here.

I'm almost done with my MBA which will result in a lot more free time. Next week is spring break so I started feeling the effects of what it will feel like to reduce my workload a little. So... I emailed Naphtali early in the week to arrange our weekend.

(Plan as I had laid it out) Go to gym as a family. Get in a good workout. Run around with Aidan in the racquetball court. Shower. Go to the new Acapulco restaurant near our house. Go home and sleep.

(Plan as Naphtali had envisioned it) ????????

(Plan as Aidan had envisioned it) What's the next game we're going to play?

(Plan as it transpired) Naphtali calls on her way home from work saying she wanted to spend more time with Aidan. She didn't want to have him play with the kids at the gym daycare. So I came home to a hearty welcome from my family to find the two working on Aidan's reading.

If I remember correctly [it WAS a confusing evening], Aidan didn't want to go out to eat. My planning was changed by Naphtali and Naphtali's plan was now changed by Aidan. [Side note, when do I get to change someone's plan? Oh woe is me.]

So Naphtali morphed into Martha Stewart mode and made us a meal while I proceeded to go through my pile of fan mail and prepare the tax documents for when I finally have time to do them. [Please remember that I'm more than happy to eat cereal the rest of my life and its been said that she should have married someone that actually has taste buds to appreciate her gift]

Perhaps it was the shock of our taxes but I swear I didn't hear her call. Of course it was another marthaesque meal. One where I was scolded by my son for taking too much of the oil and pepper when I was dipping my bread.

So to finish the night out you'd have to know that Aidan would somehow change MY plans. He informed Naphtali that just the boys were going to the gym. He proceeded to get his swim trunks. I said it was late so we wouldn't go swimming but we could go in the whirlpool and sauna before taking a shower. "OK dad"

At the gym we went to our racquetball court to play an assortment of games. We worked on basketball dribbling. Aidan can now dribble 10 times consecutively with his right hand AND his left. We finished up and went to the locker room to put on our swim trunks where my plan was to quick do the whirlpool, shower and go home. Alas, my plan was not going to happen.

Aidan put his swim trunks on and proceeded to walk toward the pool telling me that he had to PRACTICE swimming! How can a dad say no to that?!?!

It has been fun to watch his progress in the pool. His bravery continues to improve to the point where I'm not sure when I should help. Let's just say his strokes aren't the most efficient so "swimming toward the wall" versus "I'm about to die and can't get my head above water" look remarkably similar.

All in all it was fun. He didn't die and I was able to see him ratchet up his skill level just a bit more. Watching kids learn something new is a ton of fun. Their excitement over conquering a new skill is priceless.

The shallow pool for kids closes at 9:00 so he and I headed for the sauna, whirlpool and shower as we always do. We went back to our locker space where he ALWAYS does the nakee dance in front of the mirror. [he doesn't say naked yet] One of my basketball buddies happened to be walking by during this dance so I'm sure I'll get some ribbing on Tuesday.

I wish I could post a video of his dance because it is the cutest thing. I'll see if I can get him to do a fully clothed version because Naphtali and I both question where he got his dance moves.

That was our Friday night. We also had a great family day on Saturday that included a trip to the local Cirque du Soleil for an open house and THE discovery of the century. Naphtali will likely post about our new grocery store soon but the only price comparison I can make is that the bananas were $0.29/lb. It is an Asian market and when I asked how they could get the prices so low the owner's response, with a smile, was, "because we're Asian."

So as the late Paul Harvey would say, "That's the rest of the story"