Stepping it up to the next level

Thus far my blog has been dedicated to responding to Naphtali's somewhat slanted stories. I've also taken the time to talk about my main man Hugh Jackman....



Well today I've decided I'm going to start venturing into Naphtali's expertise and see if I too can't provide something meaningful (please spare me the comments on the lack of meaning or sense to my blog)

I'm such a loving husband that often I'll find a great article or tidbit that I think Naphtali's readers would thoroughly enjoy. I know I've sent at least a dozen great articles that I know you dedicated readers would enjoy. Of those articles how many have shown up on her blog?!?! ZERO. (I'm currently being treated for a salt deficiency due to my crying myself to bed every night)

So, here is the first of many that will be sure to have you on the edge of your computer seat waiting to see what will come next.

How to Grow Herb Gardens Indoors

Make Heart Shaped Cupcakes without a Special Pan (Yes, this was one sent to Naphtali when I was thinking warm gushy thoughts leading up to Valentines)

Use Butter to Keep Cheese Soft and Unspoiled

And because I know that there HAS to be a husband out there who needs the support of a blog like mine. Some I bet you didn't know facts

I know there were specific posts from Naphtali that I should be responding to but I'm tired and am going to bed. Naphtali is currently in the other room sewing so I'll be crawling into a cold lonely bed tonight (Reminds me that I have to take that medication for my tear ducts)

Hang in there faithful readers. I will be getting more blog responses out shortly.

Us guys just don't notice until...

There are massive blessings of being a man. One of which is the ability to go #1 while standing up. I also don't envy women when I see them standing in lines at a sporting event. I just am very thankful for being a man. My ultimate goal in life is to have a house where I can pee in the front yard (without fear of the cops coming). I grew up in the country and there was nothing better as a boy than playing all day and relieving myself wherever was convenient. Even as an avid (albeit bad) golfer, there are now products that again help a man out.



So, when I do actually have to sit down on a toilet I start to see the world in a different light. Its actually quite enjoyable to sit down and knock a few more chapters out of a book. But, after finishing 40 minutes later what do I often find?!?! The roll of toilet paper is on backward!

Here's a simple lesson we can all use from TP management 101.



Let's start a grassroots movement, no, not to use only one or two squares like Sheryl Crow does but instead to inform the world that this malady of society MUST be stopped. Together I say "Yes We Can" (Get it? "Can" and Naphtali doesn't think I am funny...)

When the mother is away the boys will play

Naphtali went out with the girls tonight so it was just the boys running the house. On her way out the door she said there was a cake upstairs that we could put some frosting on. It smelled so good that Aidan and I had to have just a small teeny tiny portion out of the corner. Our diabolical plan was to pad the tiny corner with extra frosting. No one would ever know!

Well... I guess I'll let the results speak for themselves. Honey, just remember that the cake is still just as good as if it were whole......























We tried to put frosting in the (tiny) hole but the cake didn't hold up. We really tried!




Fearing for my well being if she walked up to the kitchen to see the cake without this detailed explaination we decided it was best to cushion the blow.



This note will be in the door for when she comes home.




P.S. The cake is absolutely delicious and is in Aidan's room since we couldn't leave it in the kitchen before you saw how much we loved you.

Smooches

She knows how to get me to post

Ok, HAVE to respond to the latest post. We need a definite story correction here.

I'm almost done with my MBA which will result in a lot more free time. Next week is spring break so I started feeling the effects of what it will feel like to reduce my workload a little. So... I emailed Naphtali early in the week to arrange our weekend.

Friday-
(Plan as I had laid it out) Go to gym as a family. Get in a good workout. Run around with Aidan in the racquetball court. Shower. Go to the new Acapulco restaurant near our house. Go home and sleep.

(Plan as Naphtali had envisioned it) ????????

(Plan as Aidan had envisioned it) What's the next game we're going to play?

(Plan as it transpired) Naphtali calls on her way home from work saying she wanted to spend more time with Aidan. She didn't want to have him play with the kids at the gym daycare. So I came home to a hearty welcome from my family to find the two working on Aidan's reading.

If I remember correctly [it WAS a confusing evening], Aidan didn't want to go out to eat. My planning was changed by Naphtali and Naphtali's plan was now changed by Aidan. [Side note, when do I get to change someone's plan? Oh woe is me.]

So Naphtali morphed into Martha Stewart mode and made us a meal while I proceeded to go through my pile of fan mail and prepare the tax documents for when I finally have time to do them. [Please remember that I'm more than happy to eat cereal the rest of my life and its been said that she should have married someone that actually has taste buds to appreciate her gift]

Perhaps it was the shock of our taxes but I swear I didn't hear her call. Of course it was another marthaesque meal. One where I was scolded by my son for taking too much of the oil and pepper when I was dipping my bread.


So to finish the night out you'd have to know that Aidan would somehow change MY plans. He informed Naphtali that just the boys were going to the gym. He proceeded to get his swim trunks. I said it was late so we wouldn't go swimming but we could go in the whirlpool and sauna before taking a shower. "OK dad"

At the gym we went to our racquetball court to play an assortment of games. We worked on basketball dribbling. Aidan can now dribble 10 times consecutively with his right hand AND his left. We finished up and went to the locker room to put on our swim trunks where my plan was to quick do the whirlpool, shower and go home. Alas, my plan was not going to happen.

Aidan put his swim trunks on and proceeded to walk toward the pool telling me that he had to PRACTICE swimming! How can a dad say no to that?!?!

It has been fun to watch his progress in the pool. His bravery continues to improve to the point where I'm not sure when I should help. Let's just say his strokes aren't the most efficient so "swimming toward the wall" versus "I'm about to die and can't get my head above water" look remarkably similar.

All in all it was fun. He didn't die and I was able to see him ratchet up his skill level just a bit more. Watching kids learn something new is a ton of fun. Their excitement over conquering a new skill is priceless.

The shallow pool for kids closes at 9:00 so he and I headed for the sauna, whirlpool and shower as we always do. We went back to our locker space where he ALWAYS does the nakee dance in front of the mirror. [he doesn't say naked yet] One of my basketball buddies happened to be walking by during this dance so I'm sure I'll get some ribbing on Tuesday.

I wish I could post a video of his dance because it is the cutest thing. I'll see if I can get him to do a fully clothed version because Naphtali and I both question where he got his dance moves.

That was our Friday night. We also had a great family day on Saturday that included a trip to the local Cirque du Soleil for an open house and THE discovery of the century. Naphtali will likely post about our new grocery store soon but the only price comparison I can make is that the bananas were $0.29/lb. It is an Asian market and when I asked how they could get the prices so low the owner's response, with a smile, was, "because we're Asian."

So as the late Paul Harvey would say, "That's the rest of the story"

Oscar Irrelevance

Even though the Oscar's ratings are going down the tubes faster than my retirement account I do have to give them kudos for choosing 2nd Street Response's favorite actor HUGH JACKMAN!


This guy is completely tarnishing the image for the rest of us. Hugh plays a tough guy like Wolverine and the next minute a sensitive broadway singer? How can we keep up?!?!

Aidan and I came home from a gopher's basketball game and Naphtali was watching. I just happened to be there for the gig where he sang with Beyonce. I asked Naphtali if she knew the color of Beyonce's dress. She just smiled.

Hugh! How do you do it?!?!

Conversation in [Name the place]

Just had to respond to Naphtali's latest post even though I'm swamped...

Naphtali to Me, "Don't expect that since you've rubbed my neck that THAT is going to happen."

Me to Naphtali, "Why do you think that is what I'm always thinking about?!?!"

Naphtali to Me, "...."

Me to Naphtali, "Fine! I don't deny I might have been thinking about THAT but can't I just be affectionate without you thinking I want something else? Simply a good deed??"

Naphtali to Me, "...."

Me to Naphtali, "...."

Needless to say, I have a backpack full of books and I have a date with my MBA homework. I can't wait!

Making your tinfoil hat relevant again

Yes, it has been blogged about non-stop in the blogosphere. Worry is spreading across the nation. Insomnia drugs have been flying off the shelves. Sheep have applied for unemployment with no one counting them anymore. Select Comfort users are breaking their beds trying to find their 'number'. An eye drop company was in negotiations to bring back that red eye commercial as a superbowl ad. Congress was so tired from worry that they forgot to address this problem in their stimulus bill. All is lost!

You ask what this issue is (ok, only those of you living in a cave deep deep underground ask what this issue is. [sub-note to this sub-note: where a cave isn't actually a bad place to be given the topic of this post])



Thankfully you pay big bucks to get access to my blog so I can let you in on my secrets. You need no longer be worried as there is now a solution to this analog to digital conversion taking place. It just requires a bit of upgrade but YOU TOO can do it at home.

Read the important instructions HERE

Take action! Tell your husband to read these instructions. You've been warned!

Don't worry honey. My office is covered